Just my thoughts....
I realized a long time ago that not all children are likable. They are sometimes surly, greedy and inconsiderate of anyone else's feelings!
But i always care about them even if I don't particularly like them right away. I look at their behavior, try to figure out if it is insecurity or just wanting attention that triggers behavior. Is it a low level of tolerance or frustration?
Some children will get upset easily when a puzzle doesn't work, the block won't fit, etc.
You can help them because at that moment, you have no history of that child--you will be free to meet them where they are at and that is important.
I try to separate what is built into their personality and what is caused by the environment. If it is "just who they are", then I will try and be one step ahead when they tackle things that could easily frustrate them. I will help them break it up their activities so they have extra help or give them funny advice on how to accomplish their goals. Humor can calm down an anxious child.
Once they see that their meltdowns do not affect how you feel about them and are there to soothe a frustrated moment, they will let you in and you can start changing how they deal with small issues.
If the behavior is the result of how adults have treated them--give in too easily or the other side of the coin--too high of expectations--We have to change their behavior by making sure we are consistent but fair.
Once we have their trust, we can change the behavior.
I realized a long time ago that not all children are likable. They are sometimes surly, greedy and inconsiderate of anyone else's feelings!
But i always care about them even if I don't particularly like them right away. I look at their behavior, try to figure out if it is insecurity or just wanting attention that triggers behavior. Is it a low level of tolerance or frustration?
Some children will get upset easily when a puzzle doesn't work, the block won't fit, etc.
You can help them because at that moment, you have no history of that child--you will be free to meet them where they are at and that is important.
I try to separate what is built into their personality and what is caused by the environment. If it is "just who they are", then I will try and be one step ahead when they tackle things that could easily frustrate them. I will help them break it up their activities so they have extra help or give them funny advice on how to accomplish their goals. Humor can calm down an anxious child.
Once they see that their meltdowns do not affect how you feel about them and are there to soothe a frustrated moment, they will let you in and you can start changing how they deal with small issues.
If the behavior is the result of how adults have treated them--give in too easily or the other side of the coin--too high of expectations--We have to change their behavior by making sure we are consistent but fair.
Once we have their trust, we can change the behavior.
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